What Happened?
by OokamiJudge
Summary: Remus Lupin is not the man we all know. What happened to change him? Will it ever get better? Or does it only get worse for the Werewolf? part 1 of ? in my 'Not The Same' seris
1. What Happened?

Summery: Remus Lupin is not the man we all know. What happened to change him? Will it ever get better? Or does it only get worse for the Werewolf?

Warnings: This is an AU fic, and there is definitely lots of OOC going on with Remus. There is at the very least some implied yaoi if not some actual yaoi and this is most likely /NOT/ going to be a happily ever after fic. If ya don't like it or don't know what that is leave now and don't read this.

Setting: This is /before/ any of the HP books. It starts on the night Harry's parents were killed.

Disclaimer: So now that that is over, me don't own HP so ya won't get jack if ya sue cause I make jack. That goes the same for future chapters that come along.

Author Note: This was written due to a challenge by Madilayn, a fellow author on AFF,that I happened upon a little while back.

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Chapter 1: What Happened?

_An ear-splitting howl cut through the darkness of the world as the full moon say high in the sky illuminating the source of the howl. In a small clearing of a near black forest that just seem to radiate evil from it stood the man turned animal. The howl being ripped from his throat went on for the longest time pain and sadness interlacing together to form the howl of a wolf morning it's lost mate._

_As the mournful sound finally faded into nothing the man animal finally moved for the first time as he dropped form his back paws onto his knees. His forepaws moved to the second form that sat at his knees and pulled the lifeless body to him. His grip changed slightly to where the thing was cradling it's fallen mate and licked the other's face._

_The one on it's knees looked much like an enlarged wolf with a few differences: his torso was elongated, his elbows bent the wrong direction, and his foreclaws were something between those of a wolf and those of a human. The one cradled in the other's grip was a true human: with black hair; black eyes; wearing black robes and foot shaped shoes of leather that stopped at his ankles. The human's face was set into a look of intense pain and was drained of color but for a couple streaks of blood placed there by the other's paws._

_The wolf man bent his head and nuzzled into the chest of the other as a low whining noise came from him almost as if he were still trying to wake his mate even though he knew it to be impossible. His brown canine like ears twitched towards the forest in front of him and he lifted his head his upper lip pealing back from blood red teeth that held bits of brown fur in them as a low and very animalistic growl started deep within the wolf man's chest._

_He watched as the form of an old human came from the woods and towards himself and his mate. Yes he knew the form but he did not care his mate was dead and he just wanted to be left to die. His only reason for living was cradled in his arms cold with the grip of death on him and his teeth were stained with the blood on the one who had dared to do this evil thing to the only person he had loved._

"Remus" the figured called to him and his only response was to run his tongue along his bloodred canines as everything around him faded. "Remus" the figured tried again as his eyelids fluttered open and he was brought from his dreams of the past to the present. His eyes were focused on the headmaster of Hogwarts, but he did not see him no instead he still saw the lifeless form from his memory.

It had been a year now since his lover and mate had been killed by the rat they thought to be there friend and it had been a year since he had caught up with that same man while he was still a rat and taken revenge for his mate by killing him while he was still a rat.

He was a hollow man, a shell of his former self. He ate only when forced, bathed only when made to, changed clothes only when his soiled ones were taken from him, and day after day he awoke in a cold sweat still keenly feeling the death of a year past. His figure was draw, gaunt, and sickly pale due to his lack of eating, movement, and time outside no matter how many times and ways everyone told him he needed to move on he could not find the will to do so.

He had lost half of who he was with the death of his mate, and with Sirius's death the only reason he had to live was to avenge his death. With the death of Peter he had avenged the other man's death and now had no reason to still be in this world, but Albus refused to allow him to die and join his mate. He had even stopped him on several occasions when he had tried to kill him self both by magical and muggle means and it was starting to wear on the both man and wolf.


	2. Why?

Author Note: This was written due to a challenge by Madilayn, a fellow author on AFF,that I happened upon a little while back.

Author Note 2: This is not the first story in my first series. It will be the 'Not So Normal' series which so far now has three parts including this one.

Author Note 3: Shhh I am not doing this I am off posting or sleeping…heh please R&R and I will try to get another update out before I actually get to one of the before mentioned as this one took sooooo long to get out.

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Chapter 2: Why?

Remus blinked his eyes a couple of times as Albus one again called to him and forced his gaze to see the present and the headmaster rather then what had been and the cold form of his mate. "You were dreaming again" the man told him apparently realizing that he was actually seeing him now instead of still being trapped in some half dream state. The werewolf just stared blankly at the ageing wizard for a long moment before giving his usually reply "How is Harry?"

Albus sighed and shook his head "He is fine Remus, but you need to eat." He replied still rather saddened by the state of his former student. He thought that Remus had allowed this to go on long enough Sirius was and starving him self was not going to bring him back, nothing was going to bring the animagius back.

Remus again remained silent for a long moment just watching the other, what was the point? Why should he keep going? His mate was gone and he wanted to join him the only person left that could even possibly give him any reason to continue was Harry James Potter. The son of James Potter and Lily Evans Potter and godson of his lost mate, but Harry didn't need him as Albus had given him to those Muggles to care for when Lily, James, and Sirius died. So why was he forced to stay here?

Despite that fact though he dragged himself from his bed "There's a good man not you go take a shower and then we will get some food into you" the gray haired man told him, but he didn't reply. He hadn't talked much since it had happened no more then it required to inquire about Harry, not any more at least. At first he had fought, screamed, and demanded to be allowed to follow his mate and join the only person who would never turn against him for what he was. He now bore numerous scars from these early attempts, some had to heal the muggle way for various reasons and these were the ones that had left him with the scares he now bore. He couldn't care about the marks though he had once said that they were reminders to a crazy old man of the wish that no one would grant him.

He steeped into the bathroom stripping off the rags that had once been his clothes and that barely remained on his thinned frame anymore due to this state and the lack of muscle that gave them nothing to cling to. He made his way to the bath his actions were mechanical as a flick of his hand brought forth the hot water and he climbed into the water. He barely felt the water despite how hot the temperature was and didn't even care as his skin began to burn from the extreme heat that was being delivered to it.

The only thing that saved him from getting true burns was Albus. The wizard had followed him to the bathroom as he usually did and pulled out his wand quickly adjusting the temperature of the water with a flick of the wooden object. He sighed and shook his head when Remus didn't even flinch at the change "I am taking these they need to be cleaned" he told the werewolf as he had the other's discarded cloths collect themselves while he left the clean and folded ones on the closed lid of the toilet. He waited for a moment hoping for some sort of reply, but as usual he got nothing so he left the other shutting the door as he did so. Remus never closed the door anymore.

After a long time under the water Remus had finally managed to get himself clean. It took him quite some time to do that due not only to his lack of energy, but also sue to his lack of any real will to do so. A flick of his hand shut the hot water off and he made to steep out when he realized that the water was still on. Turning back to the spouts he quickly discerned the reason and with a second flick he had turned the cold water off as well. Albus had been in again, he was the only one who would do such a thing.

His gaze roved over the room searching out his discarded clothing, but they were no where to be found. In there place had been left new clean clothes folded and placed on the lid of the toilet, Albus again, he thought as he picked up the pants and pulled them on. They were a pair of rust color cloth pants that only barely clung to his bony frame. There was not truly much left on him after this past year and he was far from the man he used to be while he used to have at least something to him despite his curse this past year without his mate to calm him when he changed he had just turned on himself and it had worn on him reducing him to nothing right along with his loss, it has also added to his collection of scars.

He pulled the door open and not even bothering to watch his steeps or to where he was going he walked forward, only one thing on his mind; Why?


	3. The final push

Author Note: This was written due to a challenge by Madilayn that I happened upon a little while back. So here's for you Madilayn hope this works.

Author Note 2: This is now the first story in my first series. It will be the 'Not The Same' series, which so far now has three parts including this one.

Author Note 3: Again shhh I am not doing this I am off sleeping…heh please R&R and I will try to get one last update out before I actually get to that sleeping that I should be doing as it has taken sooooo long to get these out when I meant to be finished by new years at the latest.

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Chapter 3: The final push…

Blinking the skeletal form looked around the kitchen. How had he managed to make it here? He didn't even remember going down the stairs. Had he gone down the stairs? Blank eyes glanced down at himself and Remus blinked again no he looked fine he must have gone down the stairs or that elf had brought him down some how.

"Remus?" a voice queried causing the wolfman to do nothing other then slowly lift his head to find the source of that voice. It was easy for him to spot it's owner as Albus was the only person in the room who would actually question him on anything. He didn't bother to reply, why should he? It was Albus's fault he was still here it was Albus's fault he had lost his mate at all. If the old man had just believed him when he said that his mate would never do anything to harm James or Lilly then that rat would never have been able to get to him.

Albus how ever always had his own mind on everything and would not hear a word from him. Instead he sent Harry off to those Muggles when he should have been the one to care for the boy as he and his mate had been his Godparents. Then after such a thing he allowed Aurors to continue after his Sirius and by doing so allowed that rat to be able to kill him. If he had found his other half only a second sooner he could have saved the other, but he didn't. Instead he had found something eh had never wanted to see.

_He took in a deep breath of the air searching for the one he knew was near. He had to find Sirius before the Aurors or anyone else did they would not be kind and would not listen to what his mate had to say. He knew that the other was innocent of the crime he had been accused of he had been there when the spell had been preformed, the one that had hid one of the most feared enemies of Voldemort and a member of the Marauders. It had been that rat that had been cast in the role of keeper of the secrete and it had been the rat that had told the dark lord of James and Lily's location._

_He continued onwards his nose to the grounds and the wind both looking for any sign and just hoping that he would not be to late. Then he found it. What he had been searching for some sign of his mate, but all was not right. He caught wind of the canine animagius but he also caught a tang that meant there was blood in the air, and that there was enough that he could taste it. His tongue flicked out again wetting his nose and helping to keep out anything that may interfere with him finding the scents he was after._

_His ears flicked forwards as he caught a feint "Penitus Cruentus". He would know that voice anywhere and it would be the cause of the blood he could taste. His mate would not have been expecting the rat as he had not known about his betrayal, but he did so the wolf followed the scent. He burst into the clearing causing Peter to turn and look at him "Hello halfbreed come to try and save your mutt?"_

"…halfbreed couldn't save his mutt" Serves mumbled ina tone he thought to low for even a werewolf's hearing to catch. Especially one as diminished as Remus was.

Remus did hear though, and it was too much. He had endured it to long. For too long had he let them make him stay. For too long had he endured Snape's comments about his dead mate. This had been the final straw his near repeating of Peter's phrase to him just as it came up in his memory was just to much. He couldn't do this anymore. He was not going to stand by and allow people to talk so about his mate and he was not going to allowed Albus to force him to stay any longer.


	4. before the break

Author Note: This was written due to a challenge by Madilayn that I happened upon a little while back. So here's for you Madilayn hope this works.

Author Note 2: This is not the first story in my first series. It will be the 'Not So Normal' series which so far now has three parts including this one.

Author Note 3: falls asleep several times trying to finish this in between work and being distracted by Diablo 2 sorry this one took longer then I thought it would to get done

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Chapter 4: …before the break.

The werewolf's eyes quickly turned red the color starting as a unnoticeable ring around the pupils of his eyes and quickly bleeding into his normal as the wolf within took over throwing out the man. Remus was no more there was only Moony, the name the wolf had been called by his mate that was now gone. The men before him were responsible for it. It was all their fault and they would pay for what had happened.

It was Albus who had allowed the Aurors to continue after his mate even after he told the elderly wizard of Sirius's innocence and Peter's guilt. Severus had been one of the wizards hunting down his other half even after he had told him as well of the animagius's lack of guilt in the death of his grandson's parents. They were the reason that it had happened and the wolf within the man was not going to stand for it.

Under normal circumstances the wolf would only be able to emerge if the full moon was out and even then the man would still be in control thanks to the potion he took. This was not a normal occurrence though so that was not what happened.

_A sudden gust of wind kicked up as the wolf drew on his power to avenge his fallen mate. "Remus…"_

"…what do you think you are doing?" an odd surge made it's way over his body like a wave of magic, but behind it his frame seemed to have filled out some

_"Do you think you can save him wolf? He is dead and I will be a hero. "_

"Calm down or you will force me to hurt you…" a second surge this one stronger then the first and this it is easy to tell that indeed he had gained mass on his frame

_"…too wolf. Oh wait you want me to don't you so you can join him. Well.."_

"…you can't do this. You could hurt someone." a third and a forth surge filling out his frame more so that he now looked like nearly the Remus of a year ago, but for the blowing red eyes

_"What will happy to Harry if you do this?"_

"You need to get better so you can get him from the muggles and…" the surges kept coming now filling out his frame more and more till he started to look closer and closer to like the wolf before it lot it's mate.

_"…care for him? How can you do that…"_

"…if you are going to be like this?"

Finally Moony could take no more either that memory or this man had to go, preferably both.

He lifted his head into the air an unearthly howl ripping free of his throat as a final ripple cover his body leaving behind brown fur in it's wake and ending on his mouth, hands, and feet which were shifted into a muzzle, wolf like hands, and overly large paws which would support his weight in an upright position for a time.

After a long moment his howl finally died down and the wolfman lowered his head enough to where he could focus on the two beings before him, the ones that were part of the cause of his mate's death. His shirt and pants now hung on him in rags due to the increase in muscle he had just had by this transformation. He flexed his arms and fingers, which caused what was left of his shirt to fall from his worm, but luckily a small bit of his pants remained as he moved forward towards the headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the Potion Master and Professor of the very same place.

Severus was first to recover from the site and pulled himself to his feet backing away from the approaching Moony. His already pale form was paler then normal and his breathing was slightly faster then was usual as well, this was not good.

Albus remained in his place despite Moony's approach though staring down the wolf, or at least trying to.

Moony was not going to give in, it was their fault and they would pay for it.


	5. to Run or to Die

Author Note: This was written due to a challenge by Madilayn that I happened upon a little while back. So here's for you Madilayn hope this works.

Author Note 2: puts up chapter 4 and gets to work on this one ok I have a good plot for this chapter gets half way done before being dragged into a bobland chat room by Tado while she is telling me to write Dang you Tado gets distracted by chat room, falls asleep several times, acquires new Mangas and gets distracted by them, goes to Vegas, borrows box full of manga, reads box and returns, get home and laptop is in the shop, finally gets laptop back, gets distracted by Taco Hell, gets distracted by new Manga, gets distracted by Anime, gets new dollies from Bob, finally finishes this

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Chapter 5: to Run or to Die

As he inched closer to the pair before him that was all that went through his mind, that he would make them pay. As he got closer his resolve was set and soon his anger faded. He was no longer just a pile of anger, no now he knew what had to be done, he had to avenge his mate and he had to get Harry back.

Albus's resolve seemed to falter when the anger stopped flowing from the wolfman. The waves of angry magic stopped their assault on the other two wizards, but due his remaining transformation the old wizard knew that his anger could not have diminished. Something was not right with Remus.

Though it was not exactly what Albus thought it was. No Moony was far from calming he was simply dead. Emotions were one of Remus's things Moony did not have them. He had no regret for killing, no anger at others for their actions, not even sadness over the loss of his mate. Moony was instinct and instinct alone, that was what drove him. His instinct told him he had to avenge his mate and get their cub back, but it did not allow for anger.

The tail he now sported twitched behind him as he advanced on his prey.

There was a reason Severus made such a good spy and what is that reason you may ask? He was smart. It was not hard to figure this out considering he was not just some wizard, he was a potions master and a professor at one of the best schools for witchcraft and wizardry in the world, but it still needed to be said sometimes. Actually this was probably a rather good time for someone to have told Albus that, but no one here was going to.

Instead the headmaster just stayed in his seat while Severus continued to make his way away from the approaching wolf. Once Remus was close enough to the table he pounced. His muscles bunched, his clawed hands twitched, his upper lip pulled back saliva dripping from his now exposed upper row of teeth, then he was launching towards the headmaster. At the last second the man moved enough so that the lethal teeth missed him entirely though only by an inch as they snapped in the space his neck had just been. The deadly claws hit their target if a bit off mark though raking across the man's front slashing him open to the bone from right shoulder to left hip in four lines of blood.

It was not enough though. To avenge the death a death was needed and so he attacked again this time Albus was ready and he was up before the wolf could sink his claws into his flesh once more. The human disappeared and the wolfman lifted his head howling loudly into the emptiness of the house that he could still detect the scent of his mate in.

In his distraction with having lost his main prey Severus also made a hasty retreat, but that was for later to solve. For now he would worry about his cub since avenging his mate had been taken from him for the moment.

The wolf made it's way to the door crashing though it rather then bothering to stop and try to open it. What did he care if the house didn't have a door. He had no plans of coming back to the home any time soon anyway it just smelled to much like his mate. He would find their cub and take him someplace else some place safe.

He made his way down the street a sort of sixth sense leading him to where he needed to be. It was like he was being pulled in the direction of his missing cub, and now that he was free he was going to follow that pull till he found the boy. After a time he found himself in a forest crashing though bushes and trees. He could hear small animals running from his scent and sound, but he didn't care. Later he could hunt them and eat now was not the time. That man had probably told the others about his presence and so he knew he had to make haste. He was forced to slow though as he was met with a large form in his path.

The wolfman lowered himself closer to the ground his upper lip pulling back as he realized what and who this other form was, another like him. He had no plans to deal with them right now and this one had better get out of his way before he gutted her. She didn't moved though and so he shot forward teeth and claws catching her snapping her neck and gutting her all in one go, that would teach others at least. He paused only long enough over the still cooling corpse to lick his claws, teeth, and muzzle free of blood before he was moving again.

Sometime later found him in a village. He didn't know where it was though just that he was still in England. He didn't care though it might have taken near a day of running to get him to this point, but he was here now. He could smell his cub he was so close now. As he made his way down the street the scent grew stronger until he knew, he was here his cub was here. He threw his head back howling loudly at having found what he was searching for. What the wolf didn't expect though was for it to bring his cub running out to him, but it did.

The small form of one Harry Potter came running our the door moments later his eyes wide as he stared at him and he couldn't help but feel pride in his cub. Despite the fact that it had been so long since the boy heard his call he had still remembered it was him and come running. He made his way towards the boy slowly, but didn't make it very far as there were men everywhere all of a sudden.

He pealed his upper lip back looking around at them they were trying to take his cub from him and he would not allow them. all the forms drew their wands pointing them at him before Albus emerged into the ground from the direction of the house. The man was trying to tell him something, but he didn't care what. He wanted his cub back and they were trying to stop him from having him, trying to kill him even.

He shifted debating, did he run and try this again later or did he go after his cub and die trying to get to him if he had too? No there was no running it was a now thing.

He slunk forward an odd grace making it way into his movements. He would get to his cub and get him out of here or die trying which ever it took. He did not get very far though the second he was steeping forward curses were flying at him from every direction. He might be a magical creature, but even they could only handle so much.

Remus Lupin graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, former mate of one Sirius Black, Moony to his friends, was once more human and was not breathing. It had just been too much for the weakened man and now he was dead.

Meanwhile Harry was on the porch still watching the entire thing with wide eyes, they had killed Uncle Moony.

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Sorry it's short, but that was just all that needed to be in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.


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